I used to be The Girl Who Didn't Have a Plan.
I remember sitting across from my field ed supervisor during one of our monthly development review meetings.
"What's your plan?" he asked.
"Your plan. For your career. Your future. Your ministry."
"I don't know," I said, feeling horribly inadequate. "I guess I don't really have one."
"You have to have a plan," he said. "A vision. You have to have a vision."
Where there is no vision, the people perish."
* * *
I guess you could say I took those words to heart.
These days, everything in my life is a plan. It has to be. If I don't have a plan, I feel like my world is spiralling out of control. My Erin Condren Life Planner only serves to feed my addiction, laying out my daily tasks in neat blocks marked "morning", "day" and "night". A good day has lots of pretty checkmarks; a bad day has none.
I have daily goals.
Heck, I even have a detailed five year plan!
* * *
A few days ago I stumbled across the Scripture reference my supervisor used all those years ago. It's found in Proverbs 29:18, but The Message says it like this:
If people can’t see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
they are most blessed.
My life is so scheduled that there's no room for flexibility - even for God. I can't see what He is doing because I spend all of my time focussing on my lists. My schedules. My plans.
If God asked me to do something, would I do it?
Of course I would!
After the dishes were done. And I had taken the dog out. And the kids were in bed. And my contract work was done. And …
There's always an and.
* * *
I used to be The Girl Without a Plan - but I was confident that I was where I was supposed to be, doing what I was supposed to be doing. I felt no need for a plan beyond simple obedience.
And I want to get back to that place.